Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 10.53.24
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
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anavadya - ātmā
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He whose body and mind are faultless
Compound: an + avadya (faultless) + ātmā (self, body). The same anavadya-word the verse 3 applied to Rukmiṇī's body. Vyāsa is pairing them: faultless Lord, faultless bride; the only flaw is in Rukmiṇī's anxious imagination.
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jugupsitam
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contemptible
From √gup (desiderative). The strongest aesthetic-moral word for repugnance. Rukmiṇī imagines Kṛṣṇa might have found her jugupsita — the most charged self-doubt a bhakta can voice. Gauḍīyas read the line as kārpaṇya (the sixth limb of śaraṇāgati): the devotee's humble self-estimate.
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pāṇi - grahaṇe
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for the taking of the hand
Compound: pāṇi (hand) + grahaṇa (taking). The technical term for the wedding hand-clasp. Rukmiṇī uses the formal term — she is thinking of marriage in śāstric vocabulary even while emotionally collapsing.
Princess Rukmiṇī boldly invited Śrī Kṛṣṇa to kidnap her. When Rukmiṇī did not see Him come, she naturally feared that He had rejected her proposal, perhaps finding some unacceptable quality in her. As expressed here, the Lord Himself is anavadya, faultless, and if He saw some fault in Rukmiṇī she would be an unworthy bride for Him. It was natural for the young princess to feel such anxiety. Furthermore, if Śrī Kṛṣṇa had actually made this decision, it would be natural for the brāhmaṇa to fear Rukmiṇī’s reaction were he to bring her the news, and that would explain why he had not come.
She expresses doubt with the word "api". At first he was ready to come, and therefore because he would bring the brahmana with him, did not send the brahmana first. However at the time of leaving, seeing some fault n my body or intelligence, he gave up his plan. It would be improper for him, who is faultless in body and mind (anavadyatma) to marry me who am full of faults. And the brahmana being unsuccessful, has not come, fearing that I would give up my body.
In great pain, she imagines another reason for the Lord and the brāhmaṇa not coming. Perhaps (nūnam) he has not come because, though he is without faults like hard-heartedness, he has seen something faulty in me. Because he is merciful he started to come, but then did not. Or, according to Hari-vaṁśa, after hearing of Rukmiṇī’s choice of a husband, Kṛṣṇa thought of leaving Mathurā for Kuṇḍina, where Indra had previously performed a ceremony enthroning Kṛṣṇa while Śiśupāla and others fled. The brāhmaṇa was delayed because Kṛṣṇa delayed.
In great pain, she imagines another reason for the Lord and the brāhmaṇa not coming. The Lord has a most beautiful body, or is faultless in character. For certain (nūnam) he will not come to take my hand, though he made effort to come here (api). Or perhaps (nūnam), though he is without faults like hard-heartedness, he has seen something faulty in me because (hi) he has not come. Thus the brāhmaṇa wants to die (kṛtodyamaḥ). It is not stated directly since it is inauspicious.
A devotee fears the Lord has seen something unworthy in her and turned away. The fear is groundless, but it is precisely the fear that proves the bhakti — only one who values Bhagavān can dread being unworthy of Him. Self-doubt at this register is itself a symptom of love.
My note
Source: vedabase.io