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Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 10.53.2

శ్రీభగవానువాచ తథాహమపి తచ్చిత్తో నిద్రాం చ న లభే నిశి । వేదాహం రుక్‍మిణా ద్వేషాన్మమోద్వాహో నివారిత: ॥ ౨ ॥
śrī-bhagavān uvāca
[shree-bhagavaan uvaacha]
tathāham api tac-citto
[tathaaham api tach-chitto]
nidrāṁ ca na labhe niśi
[nidraam cha na labhe nishi]
vedāham rukmiṇā dveṣān
[vedaaham rukminaa dveshaan]
mamodvāho nivāritaḥ
[mamodvaaho nivaaritah]
śrī - bhagavān uvāca — the Supreme Personality of Godhead said tathā — in the same way aham — I api — also tat — fixed on her cittaḥ — My mind nidrām — sleep ca — and na labhe — I cannot get niśi — at night veda — know aham — I rukmiṇā — by Rukmī dveṣāt — out of enmity mama — My udvāhaḥ — marriage nivāritaḥ — forbidden .
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
śrī-bhagavān uvāca
śrī - bhagavān uvāca
the Supreme Personality of Godhead said
tathāham api tac-citto
tathā
in the same way
aham
I
api
also
tat
fixed on her
cittaḥ
My mind
nidrāṁ ca na labhe niśi
nidrām
sleep
ca
and
na labhe
I cannot get
niśi
at night
vedāham rukmiṇā dveṣān
veda
know
aham
I
rukmiṇā
by Rukmī
dveṣāt
out of enmity
mamodvāho nivāritaḥ
mama
My
udvāhaḥ
marriage
nivāritaḥ
forbidden .
  • tat - cittaḥ — My mind fixed on her
    Compound: tat (her) + cittaḥ (mind). The same construction Gauḍīyas apply to the gopīs (kṛṣṇa-cittāḥ) is here inverted — Kṛṣṇa's citta is fixed on the devotee. Acintya-bhedābheda in one word: the Whole leans toward the part that loves Him.
  • nidrām — I cannot get sleep
    Idiom: nidrām (sleep, accusative) + na labhe (I do not obtain). The Lord of Yoganidrā confesses insomnia. Prabhupāda underlines this as proof that Kṛṣṇa's affection is real, not mythological — bhakti pierces even Bhagavān's repose.
  • udvāhaḥ — marriage
    From ud-√vah, lifting up, carrying away. The same root that will reappear when Kṛṣṇa literally lifts Rukmiṇī onto His chariot (53.56). The marriage Rukmī forbids is the one Kṛṣṇa accomplishes by lifting, not by negotiation.
  • dveṣāt — out of enmity
    Ablative of dveṣa (hatred). Rukmī's envy is the catalyst of the līlā. Gauḍīyas note: even dveṣa from a kinsman becomes the occasion of Bhagavān's mercy — the rākṣasa-vivāha is born from his hatred and her love together.
The Supreme Lord said: Just as Rukmiṇī’s mind is fixed on Me, My mind is fixed on her. I can’t even sleep at night. I know that Rukmī, out of envy, has forbidden our marriage.
Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura Gauḍīya
Translation
The Supreme Lord said: Just as Rukmiṇī's mind is fixed on Me, My mind is fixed on her. I can't even sleep at night. I know that Rukmī, out of envy, has forbidden our marriage.
Commentary

I know (veda for vedmi) that Rukmi has prevented his sister’s marriage to me.

Jīva Gosvāmī Gauḍīya
Commentary

Just as her mind is fixed on me, my mind is fixed on her. I cannot even sleep (ca means even) at night what to speak of enjoyment other things. I know the cause of this problem and therefore I should resolve it.

Śrīdhara Svāmī Gauḍīya
Commentary

Just as her mind is fixed on me, my mind is fixed on her. I cannot even sleep (ca means even) at night what to speak of enjoying other things. Or am I similar to her. No. My condition is more severe. I cannot even sleep, because I know Rukmī has forbidden our marriage completely. He has decided to marry her to Śiśupāla.

Related values
Tyaga (Renunciation / Letting Go)Aparigraha (Non-possessiveness)Yajña (Sacrifice / Spirit of Offering)Tejas (Inner Radiance / Vigour)Kshama (Forgiveness / Patience)Dana (Charity / Generosity)Dhriti (Resilience / Steadfastness / Fortitude)Pratijna (Vow-keeping / Sacred Resolve)Nishkama Karma (Selfless Action)Seva (Service / Selfless Action)
Related verses
Concepts
JivaChit

Two flames reach for each other across a windless room — not one burning toward an unmoved other, but mutual leaning. Kṛṣṇa confesses sleeplessness for Rukmiṇī as openly as she has confessed it for Him. Bhagavān is not the unmoved object of bhakti; He is moved.

Kṛṣṇa breaks His promise for Bhīṣma

On the Kurukṣetra field, Kṛṣṇa had vowed not to fight, but when Bhīṣma rained arrows on Arjuna, the Lord leapt from the chariot and seized a wheel — His own word broken to honor His devotee's vow. Gauḍīyas cite SB 1.9 as the proof: Bhagavān is bound by His devotee's love.

Here too, His sleep is broken by Rukmiṇī's longing. The Lord who cannot be moved by yoga or knowledge is moved by a girl writing a letter.

📝 My note

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