Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 10.30.38
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
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skandhe-āruhyatām
—
please climb on My shoulder
Phrase: skandha (shoulder) + āruhyatām (imperative passive: let there be climbing). Polite causative — He grants the request in formal grammar. The very politeness is the wound; intimate gopīs are not addressed in polite imperatives.
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antardadhe
—
He disappeared
Imperfect of antar-√dhā — the same verb as verse 1 (antarhite). The chapter's framing word: He disappeared from the many at verse 1, He now disappears from the one at verse 38. Vipralambha is structural to the entire chapter.
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anvatapyata
—
felt remorse
Imperfect of anu-√tap (to burn afterward). The same root atapyan applied to the gopīs in verse 1 — the special gopī now joins their burning. The chapter's circle closes: She who thought Herself best is restored to the company of the many by shared fire.
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vadhūḥ
—
His consort
Nominative of vadhū. The third occurrence of this word for Her in the chapter (verses 26, 31, 38). The Bhāgavatam consistently names Her by Her relational position, never by personal name — Rādhā-saṅgopana sustained to the end.
Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī was exhibiting the pride of a beautiful girl who has brought Her boyfriend under control. Thus She told Kṛṣṇa, “Please carry Me wherever You want to go. I can’t walk anymore.” Śrī Kṛṣṇa now disappears from Her sight, intensifying Her ecstatic love more and more.
Going to a particularly attractive place (uddesa) of the forest, she, being proud (drpta), spoke to Kesava, who had bound her hair in braids after undoing the topknot he had tied in jest. The pride of the independent woman produces rasa. She said, "I cannot move. I am tired from so much wandering in the forest." "O lovely woman, we should go to a lovely spot further on." Anticipating such a question she said, "Carry me like before (naya), and we can go there." "Shall I take you to a flower bed in a grove hard to enter for others in the forest ahead, or should I take you the a flower garden to decorate you with flowers?" Anticipating that question she said, "Take me wherever you want."
Hearing her clever words while she pretended to be tired, suitable for an independent woman (svādhina-bhātṛkā), he disappeared for fun. This is described in three verses. He said “Climb on my shoulders.” This is a joke since he addresses her as priyām (dear). “What is harsh speaking others becomes a joke to the beloved. Smoke arising from burning wood when it arises from aguru becomes incense.” Or skandha can mean the body according to Viśva-prakāśa. In this case skandha means the chest. Even then it is a joke. Then (tataḥ) he disappeared. The word ca means tu, indicating a different event. Or ca can indicate that he disappeared from everyone. Thus in disappearing from her, the others lost their envy. Thus it indicates his goal of unifying them. That was also his desire in disappearing from the others previously. This shows his skill in accomplishing the impossible by one action. The intelligence of the Lord is beyond all other intelligence. Having revealed the highest level of prema in the svādhina-bhātṛkā who desired enjoyment with the Lord, Kṛṣṇa revealed the height of bewilderment and suffering with joking separation and praised it. She (sā), who took him as her very life, began to lament continuously (anu atapyata).
“Climb on my shoulders” is a joke since he addresses her as priyām (dear). Skandha can also mean body, chest, loins or the group of gopīs. Climb to the higher region where the other gopīs are situated. Or raise their anger. After this or from that place or from her presence (tataḥ) he disappeared. The word ca means “but.” The word ca means tu, indicating a different event. Or ca can indicate that he disappeared from everyone. His goal was previously stated. Kṛṣṇa was the form of the highest bliss. He disappeared to produce the highest bliss. And therefore he calls her dear (priyām). Puṣpa-bandhana-sammāna-kṛtamānām apāsya tām Nandagopa-suto yāto mārgeṇānena paśyata See! Givin up binding her hair, he went by this path. See! Anuyāte’ samarthānyā nitamba-bhara-mantharā Yā gantavyo drutaṁ yāti nimna-pādāgra-saṁsthitiḥ With her slow gait from heavy hips, she was unable to follow him. Quickly he went, showing the tips of his feet. Hasta-nyastāgra-hasteyaṁ tena yāti tathā sakhi Anāyatta-pada-nyāsā lakṣyate pada-paddhatī With her hand in his she went with him, O friend! You can see the irregular placement of the footprints. Hasta-samṣparśa-mātreṇa dhūrteṇaiṣa vimānitā Nairāśyān mandagāminyā nivṛttaṁ lakṣyate padam She became proud just by touching the cheater’s hand. Losing taste, she then walked slowly. Her footprints stop. Nūnam uktā tvarāmīti punar eṣyāmi te ‘ntikam Tena kṛṣṇena yenaisā tvaritā pada-paddhatīḥ He said “I will go quickly. I will come for you again.” Thus you see his footprints go quickly. Visnu Purana She, being proud (sāḥ) or taking Kṛṣṇa as her life, then felt remorse. She continually lamented.
- When have I felt God 'vanish' just as I felt closest — and what was that teaching?
- Can I welcome the disappearance as a deeper invitation rather than punishment?
When the king says 'climb onto My shoulder' and disappears as you reach — the lesson is the disappearance. Kṛṣṇa offers the very thing She asked for, then vanishes the instant She would have taken it. The pride is left holding empty air; the remorse begins in the same breath that began the command.
My note
Source: vedabase.io