Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 10.30.40
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
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anvicchantyaḥ
—
searching out
Present participle of anu-√iṣ. The chapter's keyword anveṣaṇa in verb-form. The search has not stopped — it is, in Gauḍīya rasa-grammar, never going to stop. Vraja's anveṣaṇa continues into Caitanya's Purī years and into our own.
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viśleṣāt
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because of the separation
Ablative of viśleṣa — separation, parting. The technical Gauḍīya term for the rasa-condition. Rūpa Gosvāmī's Ujjvala-nīlamaṇi treats viśleṣa as the supreme tasting-ground; Caitanya Mahāprabhu lived in viśleṣa for the final twelve years.
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mohitām
—
bewildered
Past participle of √muh (to be confused). Specific to viraha — the heart's loss of orientation when the Beloved is gone. Same root as moha in Bhagavad-gītā 2, but here turned to the highest end: bewilderment-in-prema, not in matter.
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duḥkhitām
—
unhappy
Past participle of √duḥkh — to be in pain. The Bhāgavatam never sentimentalizes Her pain; the verse calls it plainly duḥkha. Gauḍīyas note: viraha-duḥkha is the only duḥkha worth having — it is the very substance of mahābhāva.
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sakhīm
—
their friend
Accusative of sakhī — female friend, intimate companion. The chapter restores Her to the company. Gauḍīya gopī-tattva: every gopī is a sakhī of every other; Rādhā Herself, in some lineages, is the topmost sakhī rather than a separate category.
Radha speaks in lamentation. "Oh master (natha), all my life airs are now leaving my body, which is burning with the forest fire of separation from you, and I can no longer maintain my life. You are the master of the life airs. Please appear immediately and preserve those airs. Do not think that I am praying to protect the life airs for my benefit. It is for your benefit. O enjoyer (ramana), you left all the other goips and went off in the forest alone with me for enjoyment. If I die, you will not be able to enjoy any more. Remembering me, you will lament in sorrow." "Let me suffer, what is that to you?" "Because you are most dear to me (prestha), your sorrow will multiply a millions in me. Even if I die, I will not be able to bear the pain of one particle of your lotus feet which are worshiped by all my life airs. Therefore to remove suffering, please be merciful and come near." "Well, if your life airs have almost gone, how will I bring them back?" "Your arms are a medicine which can revive the dead. By their touch, this body will become normal." "If you know your destination without me, then why did you give the order to me, the handsome son of a king, to take you where I like and make me uselessly angry?" With sorrowful cries she said, "I am your miserable servant. Please come before me. Tired and sleepy from our pastimes, I spoke in that way. Please forgive me. Do not be angry. And though I am unworthy, you have established a firm friendship with me, o friend ( he sakhe)." " I am satisfied with what you have said. Please come here." "If you desire that, then I am here. I am blind with sorrow. I cannot understand where you are. Please come near me." Lamenting in this way in a dizzy state generated from separation, Radha fell in a swoon on the earth. This should be understood from the word "mohitam" in the next verse.
Not too far away they saw her. It was possible for her to be at a very great distance, but even then she could be seen since she shone more powerfully than the full moon. She was suffering and had fainted (mohitām). Because she had been abandoned alone in the forest and was suffering similarly, they all gave up their hatred and united with her in feelings. Thus she is called their friend (sakhīm). However her own sakhīs became absorbed in intense prema.
It was possible for her to be at a very great distance, but even then she could be seen since she shone more powerfully than the full moon. Or they searched far in front. Or they saw her not far away (avidūrataḥ). Because of their own distraction, though close, they could not previously hear her painful cries. She suffered separation and then had fainted. She had fallen to the ground, had dust on her body, had wounds and blood on her limbs, had profuse tears and saliva smearing her facial makeup. In that condition all of them viewed her with affection. They had imitated Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes out of great pain in separation. She had fainted with a deathlike state. When the friends saw her in that condition, out of friendship they felt similar pain. In fact, they felt double the pain. Surrounding her they all wept. The previous envy in all of them disappeared on its own. Later they made her revive consciousness gradually by their various skills. Comforting her, they asked what had happened.
- Who is alone and weeping in my devotional community right now?
- Have I let myself be found when I have been the lost one?
The lost lamb of a flock is often found by the rest of the flock first, before the shepherd returns. The gopīs, still tracking Kṛṣṇa's path, stumble on Her — Their proud sister now their bewildered sister. The rāsa's first reunion is not Kṛṣṇa with the gopīs but gopī with gopī, sisterhood restored before the Beloved returns.
My note
Source: vedabase.io