FolioCorpusŚrīmad-Bhāgavatam

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 9.19.12

तथाहं कृपण: सुभ्रु भवत्या: प्रेमयन्त्रित: । आत्मानं नाभिजानामि मोहितस्तव मायया ॥ १२ ॥
tathāhaṁ kṛpaṇaḥ subhru
[tathaaham kripanah subhru]
bhavatyāḥ prema-yantritaḥ
[bhavatyaah prema-yantritah]
ātmānaṁ nābhijānāmi
[aatmaanam naabhijaanaami]
mohitas tava māyayā
[mohitas tava maayayaa]
tathā — exactly like the he-goat aham — I kṛpaṇaḥ — a miser with no sense of the importance of life su-bhru — O my wife, with beautiful eyebrows bhavatyāḥ — in your company prema-yantritaḥ — as if tied in love, although it is actually lust ātmānam — self-realization (what I am and what my duty is) na abhijānāmi — I could not realize even until now mohitaḥ — being bewildered tava — your māyayā — by the materially attractive feature.
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
tathāhaṁ kṛpaṇaḥ subhru
tathā
exactly like the he-goat
aham
I
kṛpaṇaḥ
a miser with no sense of the importance of life
su-bhru
O my wife, with beautiful eyebrows
bhavatyāḥ
in your company
bhavatyāḥ prema-yantritaḥ
prema-yantritaḥ
as if tied in love, although it is actually lust
ātmānaṁ nābhijānāmi
ātmānam
self-realization (what I am and what my duty is)
na abhijānāmi
I could not realize even until now
mohitas tava māyayā
mohitaḥ
being bewildered
tava
your
māyayā
by the materially attractive feature.
O my dear wife with beautiful eyebrows, I am exactly like that he-goat, for I am so poor in intelligence that I am captivated by your beauty and have forgotten the real task of self-realization.

If one remains a victim of the so-called beauty of his wife, his family life is nothing but a dark well. Hitvātma-pātaṁ gṛham andha-kūpam . Existence in such a dark well is certainly suicidal. If one wants relief from the miserable condition of material life, one must voluntarily give up his lusty relationship with his wife; otherwise there is no question of self-realization. Unless one is extremely advanced in spiritual consciousness, household life is nothing but a dark well in which one commits suicide. Prahlāda Mahārāja therefore recommended that in due time, at least after one’s fiftieth year, one must give up household life and go to the forest. Vanaṁ gato yad dharim āśrayeta . There one should seek shelter at the lotus feet of Hari.

— A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda
Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura Gauḍīya
Translation
O my dear wife with beautiful eyebrows! In a similar manner, I am a miser, controlled by love for you. Bewildered by your māyā, I do not know the self. I am bewildered by your māyā. I, the jīva, am bewildered by ignorance.
Yayāti tells Devayānī plainly: I am exactly like that goat. The honest naming of one's own animality is itself a step out of the well — the disguise drops and recovery becomes possible.
Reflection Questions
  • Could I name plainly which 'animal' in scripture matches my present pattern?
  • What confession to one safe person could begin to break the spell?
📝 My note

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