FolioCorpusŚrīmad-Bhāgavatam

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 7.9.45

यन्मैथुनादिगृहमेधिसुखं हि तुच्छं कण्डूयनेन करयोरिव दु:खदु:खम् । तृप्यन्ति नेह कृपणा बहुदु:खभाज: कण्डूतिवन्मनसिजं विषहेत धीर: ॥ ४५ ॥
yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tucchaṁ
[yan maithunaadi-grihamedhi-sukham hi tuchcham]
kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham
[kandooyanena karayor iva duhkha-duhkham]
tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ
[tripyanti neha kripanaa bahu-duhkha-bhaajah]
kaṇḍūtivan manasijaṁ viṣaheta dhīraḥ
[kandootivan manasijam vishaheta dheerah]
yat — that which (is meant for material sense gratification) maithuna-ādi — represented by talking of sex, reading sexual literature or enjoying sex life (at home or outside, as in a club) gṛhamedhi-sukham — all types of material happiness based on attachment to family, society, friendship, etc. hi — indeed tuccham — insignificant kaṇḍūyanena — with the itching karayoḥ — of the two hands (to relieve the itching) iva — like duḥkha-duḥkham — different types of unhappiness (into which one is put after such itching sense gratification) tṛpyanti — become satisfied na — never iha — in material sense gratification kṛpaṇāḥ — the foolish persons bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ — subjected to various types of material unhappiness kaṇḍūti-vat — if one can learn from such itching manasi-jam — which is simply a mental concoction (actually there is no happiness) viṣaheta — and tolerates (such itching) dhīraḥ — (he can become) a most perfect, sober person.
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tucchaṁ
yat
that which (is meant for material sense gratification)
maithuna-ādi
represented by talking of sex, reading sexual literature or enjoying sex life (at home or outside, as in a club)
gṛhamedhi-sukham
all types of material happiness based on attachment to family, society, friendship, etc.
hi
indeed
tuccham
insignificant
kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham
kaṇḍūyanena
with the itching
karayoḥ
of the two hands (to relieve the itching)
iva
like
duḥkha-duḥkham
different types of unhappiness (into which one is put after such itching sense gratification)
tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ
tṛpyanti
become satisfied
na
never
iha
in material sense gratification
kṛpaṇāḥ
the foolish persons
bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ
subjected to various types of material unhappiness
kaṇḍūtivan manasijaṁ viṣaheta dhīraḥ
kaṇḍūti-vat
if one can learn from such itching
manasi-jam
which is simply a mental concoction (actually there is no happiness)
viṣaheta
and tolerates (such itching)
dhīraḥ
(he can become) a most perfect, sober person.
Sex life is compared to the rubbing of two hands to relieve an itch. Gṛhamedhis, so-called gṛhasthas who have no spiritual knowledge, think that this itching is the greatest platform of happiness, although actually it is a source of distress. The kṛpaṇas, the fools who are just the opposite of brāhmaṇas, are not satisfied by repeated sensuous enjoyment. Those who are dhīra, however, who are sober and who tolerate this itching, are not subjected to the sufferings of fools and rascals.

Materialists think that sexual indulgence is the greatest happiness in this material world, and therefore they make elaborate plans to satisfy their senses, especially the genitals. This is generally found everywhere, and specifically found in the Western world, where there are regular arrangements to satisfy sex life in different ways. Actually, however, this has not made anyone happy. Even the hippies, who have given up all the materialistic comforts of their fathers and grandfathers, cannot give up the sensational happiness of sex life. Such persons are described here as kṛpaṇas, misers. The human form of life is a great asset, for in this life one can fulfill the goal of existence. Unfortunately, however, because of a lack of education and culture, people are victimized by the false happiness of sex life. Prahlāda Mahārāja therefore advises one not to be misled by this civilization of sense gratification, and especially not by sex life. Rather, one should be sober, avoid sense gratification and be Kṛṣṇa conscious. The lusty person, who is compared to a foolish miser, never gets happiness by sense gratification. The influence of material nature is very difficult to surpass, but as stated by Kṛṣṇa in Bhagavad-gītā (7.14) , mām eva ye prapadyante, māyām etāṁ taranti te: if one voluntarily submits to the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa, he can be saved very easily.

In reference to the low-grade happiness of sex life, Yāmunācārya says in this connection:

yadāvadhi mama cetaḥ kṛṣṇa-padāravinde nava-nava-rasa-dhāmanudyata rantum āsīt tadāvadhi bata nārī-saṅgame smaryamāne bhavati mukha-vikāraḥ suṣṭu niṣṭhīvanaṁ ca

“Since I have been engaged in the transcendental loving service of Kṛṣṇa, realizing ever-new pleasure in Him, whenever I think of sex pleasure, I spit at the thought, and my lips curl with distaste.” Yāmunācārya had formerly been a great king who enjoyed sexual happiness in various ways, but since he later engaged himself in the service of the Lord, he enjoyed spiritual bliss and hated to think of sex life. If sexual thoughts came to him, he would spit with disgust.

— A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda
Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura Gauḍīya
Translation
The insignificant happiness of household life and sex life is like the increased suffering created by rubbing itchy hands together. Though they experience great suffering, lusty fools still cannot see that there is no satisfaction in household life. The wise man however tolerates the lust, which is actually suffering. “The people will be happy by enjoying women, and in that way become free of misery.” But rubbing the hands together to relieve itching causes the suffering to increase. “Then they should become disgusted and become liberated.” Though these lusty people (kṛpaṇaḥ) receive plenty of suffering, they do not think that it is impossible to be satisfied with the happiness household life (iha), which is another form of suffering. “But one sees that some of them become disgusted.” That is true. A person who becomes wise by your mercy tolerates the lust born of the mind, which is suffering itself.
Sex life is like scratching an itch with both hands — gṛhamedhis think it the highest happiness, but it is actually distress. The kṛpaṇas are never satisfied; the dhīras tolerate the itch and avoid the suffering. Tolerating an urge is sometimes the higher pleasure.
Reflection Questions
  • Which 'itch' in your life are you treating as a happiness when it is actually a source of distress?
  • Where could tolerating instead of scratching produce real, lasting peace?
📝 My note

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