Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 3.4.5
तथापि तदभिप्रेतं जानन्नहमरिन्दम ।
पृष्ठतोऽन्वगमं भर्तु: पादविश्लेषणाक्षम: ॥ ५ ॥
tathāpi tad-abhipretaṁ
[tathaapi tad-abhipretam]
jānann aham arindama
[jaanann aham arindama]
pṛṣṭhato ’nvagamaṁ bhartuḥ
[prishthato ’nvagamam bhartuh]
pāda-viśleṣaṇākṣamaḥ
[paada-vishleshanaakshamah]
Word-for-word
tathā api
—
yet, in spite of
tat-abhipretam
—
His desire
jānan
—
knowing
aham
—
I
arim-dama
—
O subduer of the enemy (Vidura)
pṛṣṭhataḥ
—
behind
anvagamam
—
followed
bhartuḥ
—
of the master
pāda-viśleṣaṇa
—
separation from His lotus feet
akṣamaḥ
—
not being able.
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
tathāpi tad-abhipretaṁ
tathā api
yet, in spite of
tat-abhipretam
His desire
jānann aham arindama
jānan
knowing
aham
I
arim-dama
O subduer of the enemy (Vidura)
pṛṣṭhato ’nvagamaṁ bhartuḥ
pṛṣṭhataḥ
behind
pāda-viśleṣaṇākṣamaḥ
anvagamam
followed
bhartuḥ
of the master
pāda-viśleṣaṇa
separation from His lotus feet
akṣamaḥ
not being able.
Yet in spite of my knowing His desire [to destroy the dynasty], O Arindama [Vidura], I followed Him because it was impossible for me to bear separation from the lotus feet of the master.
Gauḍīya Ācāryas
Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura
Gauḍīya
Translation
O Vidura, conquerer of foes! Thus, though understanding his order, and unable to bear separation from his lotus feet, I followed after him.
Abhipretam (intention) means that though the Lord ordered that he go to Badarikāśrama, Uddhava understood that Kṛṣṇa would not give him up so easily, and thus he followed the Lord. Or it can mean that Uddhava understood Kṛṣṇa’s intention to destroy the dynasty.
Related lectures
Personal Guidance
Uddhava could not bear separation from the Lord even when separation was the Lord's plan. Devotion sometimes makes us 'disobey' a direct instruction to leave. The Lord understands; what He measures is the heart's attachment, not the literal compliance.
Reflection Questions
- When did you last 'fail' to leave because love overrode strategy?
- Where are you justifying staying out of attachment dressed up as devotion?
My note
Source: vedabase.io