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Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 11.17.39

गृहार्थी सद‍ृशीं भार्यामुद्वहेदजुगुप्सिताम् । यवीयसीं तु वयसा यां सवर्णामनुक्रमात् ॥ ३९ ॥
gṛhārthī sadṛśīṁ bhāryām
[grihaarthee sadrisheem bhaaryaam]
udvahed ajugupsitām
[udvahed ajugupsitaam]
yavīyasīṁ tu vayasā
[yaveeyaseem tu vayasaa]
yāṁ sa-varṇām anu kramāt
[yaam sa-varnaam anu kramaat]
gṛha — household arthī — one who desires sadṛśīm — possessing similar characteristics bhāryām — a wife udvahet — one should marry ajugupsitām — beyond reproach yavīyasīm — younger tu — indeed vayasā — by age yām — another wife sa-varṇām — the first wife who is of the same caste anu — after kramāt — in succession.
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
gṛhārthī sadṛśīṁ bhāryām
gṛha
household
arthī
one who desires
sadṛśīm
possessing similar characteristics
bhāryām
a wife
udvahed ajugupsitām
udvahet
one should marry
ajugupsitām
beyond reproach
yavīyasīṁ tu vayasā
yavīyasīm
younger
tu
indeed
vayasā
by age
yāṁ sa-varṇām anu kramāt
yām
another wife
sa-varṇām
the first wife who is of the same caste
anu
after
kramāt
in succession.
One who desires to establish family life should marry a wife of his own caste, who is beyond reproach and younger in age. If one desires to accept many wives he must marry them after the first marriage, and each wife should be of a successively lower caste.

As stated in the Vedic literature,

tisro varṇānupūrvyeṇa dve tathaikā yathā-kramam brāhmaṇa-kṣatriya-viśāṁ bhāryāḥ svāḥ śūdra-janmanaḥ

The purport of this verse is that one’s first wife must always be sadṛśīm, or similar to oneself. In other words, an intellectual man should marry an intellectual wife, a heroic man should marry a heroic wife, a business minded man should marry a woman who can encourage him in such activities, and a śūdra should marry a less intelligent woman. The wife must be beyond reproach in terms of her background and character and should always be younger than oneself, ideally five to ten years younger. If one desires to marry a second wife, then, as stated in this verse by the word varṇānupūrvyeṇa and in the verse spoken by Lord Kṛṣṇa by the word anukramāt, one must wait until the first marriage is established and then select a second wife from the next-lower caste. If one marries a third time the wife must be, again, from the next-lower caste. For example, a brāhmaṇa’s first wife will be a brāhmaṇī, his second wife will be from the kṣatriya community, his third wife from the vaiśya community and fourth wife from the śūdra community. A kṣatriya may first marry a kṣatriya lady and then vaiśya and śūdra ladies. A vaiśya can accept wives from two classes, and a śūdra will accept a wife only from the śūdra class. By this progression of marriages there will be relative peace in the family. These Vedic marriage injunctions, as mentioned in the previous verse, are especially for those who are not pure devotees of the Lord.

— A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda
Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura Gauḍīya
Translation
One who desires to establish family life should marry a wife of his own caste, who is beyond reproach and younger in age. If one desires to accept many wives they may be of lower caste than the first wife. Speaking of the rules for the householder, rules of varṇa are discussed. If he desires to marry a second woman, he should do so after the first marriage and they may be of lower caste. tisro varṇānupūrvyeṇa dve tathaikā yathā-kramam | brāhmaṇa-kṣatriya-viśām bhāryāḥ svāh śūdra-janmanaḥ || The brāhmaṇa can marry women of four castes. The kṣatriya can marry women of three castes. The vaiśya can marry women of two castes. The śūdra can marry a woman of only one caste. Yājñavalkya-smṛti 1.57
Marry a wife of one's own caste who is beyond reproach and younger; additional wives, if any, of successively lower caste. The Lord names a specific traditional pattern.
Reflection Questions
  • What does it mean to receive ancient social patterns with discernment?
  • Where do I take or leave them, and on what grounds?
📝 My note

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