FolioCorpusŚrīmad-Bhāgavatam

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 1.8.48

अहो मे पश्यताज्ञानं हृदि रूढं दुरात्मन: । पारक्यस्यैव देहस्य बह्‍व्यो मेऽक्षौहिणीर्हता: ॥ ४८ ॥
aho me paśyatājñānaṁ
[aho me pashyataajnaanam]
hṛdi rūḍhaṁ durātmanaḥ
[hridi roodham duraatmanah]
pārakyasyaiva dehasya
[paarakyasyaiva dehasya]
bahvyo me ’kṣauhiṇīr hatāḥ
[bahvyo me ’kshauhineer hataah]
Word-for-word
aho — O me — my paśyata — just see ajñānam — ignorance hṛdi — in the heart rūḍham — situated in durātmanaḥ — of the sinful pārakyasya — meant for others eva — certainly dehasya — of the body bahvyaḥ — many, many me — by me akṣauhiṇīḥ — combination of military phalanxes hatāḥ — killed.
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
aho me paśyatājñānaṁ
aho
O
me
my
paśyata
just see
ajñānam
ignorance
hṛdi rūḍhaṁ durātmanaḥ
hṛdi
in the heart
rūḍham
situated in
durātmanaḥ
of the sinful
pārakyasyaiva dehasya
pārakyasya
meant for others
eva
certainly
dehasya
of the body
bahvyo me ’kṣauhiṇīr hatāḥ
bahvyaḥ
many, many
me
by me
akṣauhiṇīḥ
combination of military phalanxes
hatāḥ
killed.
King Yudhiṣṭhira said: O my lot! I am the most sinful man! Just see my heart, which is full of ignorance! This body, which is ultimately meant for others, has killed many, many phalanxes of men.
Purport

A solid phalanx of 21,870 chariots, 21,870 elephants, 109,650 infantry and 65,600 cavalry is called an akṣauhiṇī. And many akṣauhiṇīs were killed on the Battlefield of Kurukṣetra. Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, as the most pious king of the world, takes for himself the responsibility for killing such a huge number of living beings because the battle was fought to reinstate him on the throne. This body is, after all, meant for others. While there is life in the body, it is meant for the service of others, and when it is dead it is meant to be eaten by dogs and jackals or maggots. He is sorry because for such a temporary body such a huge massacre was committed.

— A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda
Gauḍīya Ācāryas
Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura Gauḍīya
Translation
Oh! Look at the ignorance spread over my evil heart. Just for my body which is fit for the jackals’ food, I have killed many armies.
Commentary

For my body which is food for dogs and jackals (pārakyasya) I have killed many akṣauhinīs. Vyāsa has described the akṣauhiṇī.

akṣauhiṇī prasaṁkhyātā rathānāṁ dvija-sattamāḥ | saṁkhyā-gaṇana-tattva-jñaiḥ sahasrāny eka-viṁśatiḥ || śatāny upari caivāṣṭau tathā bhūyaś ca saptatiḥ | gajānāṁ ca prasaṁkhyānam etad eva prakīrtitam || jñeyaṁ śata-sahasraṁ tu sahasrāni navaiva tu | nārāṇām api pañcāśacchatāni trīṇi caiva hi || pañca-ṣaṣṭhi-sahasrāṇi tathāśvānāṁ śatāni ca | daśottarāṇi ṣaṭ prāhuḥ saṁkhyā-tattva-vido janāḥ | etām akṣauhiṇīṁ prāhur yathāvad iha saṁkhyayā ||

O best of the brāhmaṇas! Those who understand counting know that an akṣauhiṇī consists of 21,870 chariots and the same number of elephants. It has 109,350 foot soldiers. It has 65,610 horses.

Related lectures
Personal Guidance
Yudhiṣṭhira: I am the most sinful, my heart full of ignorance, this body has killed many. Even righteous war leaves the warrior haunted. Moral injury is real.
Reflection Questions
  • What past action of mine still feels heavy even though I was 'in the right'?
  • Where do I need to receive forgiveness rather than just claim justification?
📝 My note

Source: vedabase.io

← Read full Chapter 8