Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu .5.20
yathā vā –
[yathaa vaa –]
hari-vallabha-sevayā samantād
[hari-vallabha-sevayaa samantaad]
apara-vargānubhavaṁ kilāvadhīrya |
[apara-vargaanubhavam kilaavadheerya |]
ghana-sundaram ātmano ’py abhīṣṭaṁ
[ghana-sundaram aatmano ’py abheeshtam]
paramaṁ brahma didṛkṣate mano me ||20||
[paramam brahma didrikshate mano me ||20||]
Blended reading (Sanskrit + English inline)
yathā vā –
hari-vallabha-sevayā samantād
apara-vargānubhavaṁ kilāvadhīrya |
ghana-sundaram ātmano ’py abhīṣṭaṁ
paramaṁ brahma didṛkṣate mano me ||20||
Another example: Because of serving the devotees, I have given up the happiness of liberation as insignificant and, surpassing the impersonal brahman, I desire to see the dark-hued Lord, the highest form of brahman.
Purport
Another devotee once exclaimed, “Although I can achieve liberation simply by serving the devotees, my mind is still very much anxious to see the Supreme Personality of Godhead, whose bodily complexion is just like a dark cloud.” When a devotee is so anxious to contact the Supreme Personality of Godhead, that can also be accepted as a symptom of neutral love.
— A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda
Gauḍīya Ācāryas
Jīva Gosvāmī
Gauḍīya
Durgama-saṅgamanī
Commentary
Ātmanaḥ here means “having surpassed the brahman.”
My note
Source: vedabase.io